Remember that time you were sixteen for ten years?
(And when you finally hit seventeen, shit hit the fan?)
In honor of Flo’s birthday, we examine a few favorite birthday traditions in young adult literature:
She didn’t mean James Potter.
She meant Severus Snape.
(first quote: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Chapter Two: A Peck of Owls; second quote: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter Thirty-Three: The Prince’s Tale)
how did i not realize this before?
ROWLING DOES IT AGAIN.
Next installment of our salacious parody novella, 50 Shades of Hungrey. Are you ready for it, friends? Can you handle the… heat?
“So what are the costumes this year? What angle are we working? Coal miners? Depressed hobos?” For a boy who was downright weeping on the train, Peeta is a little too into the Opening Ceremony for my comfort.
Cinna shakes his head. “So pedestrian. This year, we’re going for a look that’s countercultural yet recognizable.”
Peeta works this over. I’m too busy wondering what’s beneath Cinna’s slim black jeans. “So…happy hobos,” Peeta determines.
“Done five years ago. Not retro enough.” He gestures for us to follow him to a dark corner of the Remake Center. I happily oblige. “First of all, you’ll be riding bicycles.”
“No chariots?” I say.
“Budget cuts. Second, you’ll be, shall we say, without much need for costume.”
“Naked,” I mouth to Peeta, who flushes.
“The human form is a beautiful thing,” Cinna continues. “Especially when it’s on fire.”
Sure, the crowd cheers for the Careers. They’re pretty much required to.
But they fucking lose their shit when Peeta and I ride in on a tandem bicycle, naked but for the flames that cover every inch of our bodies. Can’t blame the crowd for screeching, “Do me, District 12!”
I can’t actually see through the film of smoke and carbon monoxide in my eyes, but if I could, I’d bet that we look downright dangerous. Lethal. Ready to win.
Or insane. That, too.
For Father’s Day, we salute the papas of teenagers who rant, rave, and occasionally take over kingdoms just to mess everything up. Thanks for the throne, Dad!
1. Ned Wakefield (Sweet Valley). We know that Ned is a lawyer and that he’s reasonably attractive for his age. He occasionally dispenses life advice to his daughters that they promptly ignore. Bless him.
(Why does he look like a Backstreet Boy?)
2. Mr. Everdeen (The Hunger Games). Because he taught our lady Katniss all the useful things she needed to rock the world.
3. Ned Stark (A Song of Fire and Ice). Father to saucy teenagers, this well-intentioned man has his moral compass always pointing north, even if it means that heads must roll.
4. King Lear (King Lear). Before Ned Stark, there was King Lear, who had 99 problems and his daughters created them all.
5. Jaime Lannister (A Song of Fire and Ice). A man who maintains his sense of humor, despite the fact that his teen son is widely regarded as Westoros’ biggest douche.
6. Charlie Swan (Twilight). His daughter just gave birth to a half-vampire child who will stop growing at seventeen (or something). Which means that he’ll have two lovelorn teens to deal with for all of perpetuity. (Flo: Oh dear god, NO.)
7. James Potter (Harry Potter series). Because he gave Harry the hereditary emo cut that we’ve grown to love and cherish.
8. Otto Frank (The Diary of Anne Frank). He gave us the steadfast courage that resides in Anne’s journal, despite living through one of history’s most devastating tragedies.
9. Elrond (Lord of the Rings). He gave up his daughter to a life of mortality (though when you’re with Aragorn, you’ll take your chances). Also, the ears.
10. Burt Hummel (Glee). In an oft-incoherent show, Burt shines with sensitivity, paternal pride, and humor. And, mercifully, he doesn’t feel a constant need to express himself in song.
Which literary (or otherwise) dads rock? Sound off and let us know!
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.
Susan Cain, Quiet (via sixteen-sixty-six)
THANK YOU THIS IS THE BEST DESCRIPTION OF ME
Yes, this, yes. All of it.
Hence why a Google-docs writing session for TAYL makes for a more than acceptable Friday night.